Dear Hopeful Heart,

It’s scary.

It’s so scary to want something so much that you’re even afraid to think about it for too long, lest the fear clamp your heart and lungs in a vice that makes it hard to breathe. Because what if it doesn’t work out? What if it doesn’t happen? Yeah, the way the bottom of your stomach fell out when you read those words? That’s the fear you never want to acknowledge, but it exists side-by-side with your hope. It’s why every time you open your mail, your heart is pounding. It’s also why you’re disappointed every time that particular email isn’t there. You’re hopeful, but you’re also afraid. And it’s okay, because again, you’re human. So take a breath, slow your heart rate, you’re okay.

It’s important, when doing anything, anything at all, to define what success looks like to you, and why you’re hoping for it. With some stuff, it’s easy. For example, with an application, regardless of what the application is for, the only thing I ever want to see is an email beginning with the word, “Congratulations…”. I genuinely don’t care what follows, what the terms and conditions are, or even what the role is for. Definitely not at that particular point in time. The words that follow are irrelevant because that word, that one word, has changed everything. Subconsciously, your reality now changes to fit everything into the “before” and “after” of that congratulations. But with things that are not so easily defined, things are a bit… harder. If you’re hoping for an apartment and housing agents are making you contemplate how to get away with murder, then success might look like getting a roof over your head that is not sponsored by a federal correctional facility. However, if you’re looking to switch careers, then you’re gaining the necessary skills and hoping that someone gives you a shot at deploying those skills and pays you enough to make the effort worth it. Success can look like different things to different people at different times, and it’s important to define this term at every point at which you believe there’s room for it. For some, anything below the top of the class is a complete failure, while for others, just graduating is reason enough to hire One Direction. What success looks like to you can be vastly different from what it looks like to me. Actually, what you believe success to be today can shift as quickly as tomorrow. So how does one define success, work towards it with Godly hope, and eradicate fear all at the same time?

So here’s the thing: Nobody, not a single person ever, has ever set out to do something, start something, or be something, with the intention of failing. You don’t work so hard on a project, or study like crazy for an exam, or switch careers altogether, with the image of penury and/or disappointment fixed in your mind’s eye as your preferred goal. Unfortunately though, it does happen. Sometimes, things just do not work out. Sometimes, projects or applications start out beautifully, and every stage seems to go along flawlessly according to plan, only to fall apart at the last stage. That’s a different kind of pain, but it does happen. And honestly, I think it’s really important to accept this reality. Mind you, I’m definitely NOT saying that you will be disappointed, so please drop the frying pan you were going to hit me with. I’m just saying that disappointment exists. It’s a thing. Because hope has a definition, by that very definition, an alternative reality exists: Disappointment. That’s all. And that’s where the fear comes from, that’s what you’re afraid of if you choose to be honest, being disappointed. It can be complicated to deal with, and we’re normal to fear disappointment because it’s terrible. But in acknowledging its existence, we take away a bit of its power. By not avoiding everything that can remotely open us up to a scenario where we don’t get what we want, we acknowledge that even if we don’t, we’ll survive. And that is powerful. Why? Because then, fear loses its hold on you, and you are free to flourish in your hope. 

You see, a life in God basically guarantees that it will end well. Regardless of the outcome of this particular situation, regardless of every situation that has come before will come come after, it is well with your soul (3 John 1:2 NIV). Because you know that in His Will, God has not given you a spirit of fear (2 Tim. 1:7), and you have an expected end (Jer. 29:11), life is easier. And you can hope freely, knowing that if your end is already expected, and He knows His plans for you, then whether or not this works out, you are covered. I mean, if the Person who planned and executed the earth we live in with such precision and creativity in 5 days, is the same One planning and executing my life? Bruh, I’m good. And what’s more, I’ll always be good, because HE is good. And that’s not to say don’t try, or don’t hope. It’s actually saying the opposite. Go with the assurance and the confidence that in His will, you can do all things through Him (Phil. 4:13), and that He who began a good work in you, will complete it (Phil. 1:6). You can hope and move in faith, knowing more than even hoping, that your God will perfect all that concerns you (Psalm 138:8). 

Some people who knew this thing, who had this knowledge seated deep in their hearts, rooted firmly in their bones, were the 3 Hebrew boys and, wait for it… Jonah. I know, I know. You probably expected me to mention Shedrach and his bros (Daniel 3:1-25), but Jonah?? Well, let me explain. As someone who can be a bit stubborn (once in a while o, and only when necessary), the level of audacity that it takes to tell Yahweh Himself, not a priest or even an angel, but God Himself “no”, when He sends you on an errand had to be respected. As Nigerians would say, Jonah get mind. But even when he had done his own, and God had rerouted his coconut-head journey via whale, one interesting thing Jonah did not do was give up because things did not go his way. On the contrary, right in the stomach of the whale, he was not thinking about his life and whether or not he would survive. He wasn’t wondering if Mrs Jonah would move on when she did not see him, or if his family would miss him. Jonah submitted, fully confident in the ability of the Lord to save him, which was ironic considering that he had been running from this same God. But… he moved beyond disobedience and despair to hope, and stood firmly in faith (Jonah 1&2). What does this prophet have to do with the boys in flames? It’s simple. While the Hebrew boys were on their own, being faithful to their God, and Jonah was doing the direct opposite in running away and directly disobeying God, things did not go their way in either case. But in God’s will, they were good eventually, because all of them chose to place their faith and hope in a God they already knew to be good.

So as we try every day, as we hope and place our faith in our good God for our needs and our desires, I need you to know beyond all reasonable and unreasonable doubt that we do not operate from a place of fear or worry, because we are already victorious in Christ. Whether this works out or not, God is good. Whether we get what we want or not, He remains faithful. And because He is faithful and good, because He holds us in the palms of His hands (Isaiah 49:16) and has called us His very own (Isaiah 43:1), then so are we.

Fingers crossed right beside yours,

Gabrielle…

Photo by Pinakeen Bhatt on Unsplash